The days drag on and theres nothing more intrestings than watching the people you were once closest to fade away.. Out of no where, too. To feel as if you have that effect on someone. That they have to push you away for some rediculous, proposterous reason..what ever it may be. Perhaps if our communication was as good as it once was, we wouldnt be having this silent issue. Its funny how I seem still just as content as before. But in truth, not that content. Feeling as if you have become the sudden outsider. And the ones you trusted and confided in at some time seem to no longer care. heh..what a waste. What can i do, nothing...try and speak out and say what i feel is happening......But will they listen?
Oh to feel like an idiot for wanting to hope that things are as they used to be. But i know they will not be.. mostlikely never will be. I just have to grin and bare it.. As always.
I still wonder as if it was my fault. For pulling myself out of the loop while dealing with two major heart aches. The loss of love, the loss of an innocence. Well, of what innocence i had left.
I should focus on other things anyway, The band for one thing. The new people in my life, my family, my dreams, writting, photography, school,work. Yes, i do believe my focus from things has wandered a bit. I musn't forget that..
I think today i shall create new ideas for some Emilie Autumn inspired Fairy wings...